The Joyful Absurdity Of 'Texas Flip N Move'

If you've watched so-called "unscripted" television for any amount of time, you've realized that unscripted is in the eye of the producer. Nearly all reality-ish television is scripted or edited in some way - primarily to ensure the final product is entertaining and flows well.

In some cases, the scripting really doesn't affect the viewing experience. Knowing that the couples on "House Hunters" have actually already picked out the three houses they're visiting in their episodes is a bit of a letdown. But that preknowledge doesn't seem to keep the couples from saying idiotic things, so it's certainly a level of manipulation I can deal with as a viewer.

Then there are those programs that really take the scripting an episode idea to heart. Whether it's allegations that producers for A&E's "Storage Wars" salted the storage units with interesting items or charges that Discovery's participants on "Dual Survival" weren't living quite as close to the edge as you might expect, the worst thing for a viewer of these shows are the moments when you can see the marionette strings while you're watching the show. I can handle being slightly manipulated. I just don't want the manipulation to be so heavy-handed that it feels as if the show's producers are assuming I'm an idiot.

Given that, I'm at a bit of a loss to rationalize my reasons for loving the long-running DIY series "Texas Flip N' Move." The show's premise barely makes sense, the "battle" to win a house in the auction has about as much honest passion as a Trump marriage and the final profit number seems dubious at best.

And yet, I can't stop watching.

Currently midway through its 10th season, the premise of the show is pretty straightforward. Set in Texas, the show focuses on a group of four or five teams who buy houses and flip them for profit. The twist in this series is that the houses are old buildings the current owners want removed from their property. The house (or barn or sometimes caboose) is auctioned off to the highest bidder and the winner has a week to move it off the property. The houses are then renovated and sold at auction.

This formula has evolved a bit over the long run of the show. In early seasons, producers pushed the "war" part of the process, trying to hype the auction battle to make it seem more acrimonious than it obviously is in real life. Those early seasons also pitted one team against another, declaring the team making the most profit as that episode's "winner."

But all of that fake drama never seemed remotely honest. It was clear from the beginning the teams mostly knew each other very well and in several cases, they are just different branches of the same extended family. So attempting to portray the flips as a blood sport just never rang true.

Teams have come and gone over the show's run and recently the flips have changed from a simple auction of the completed home to an auction of the home and the land where it's been relocated. The "competitive" tally of the team profits has also been stripped away and producers seem less hesitant to show the teams actually like and respect each other.

Still, the financial portions of "Texas Flip N Move" makes very little sense. Most of the teams who win houses also own the company that moves the home. So while the move is billed as an expense, the reality is the winning house is really being moved for its internal costs. Which isn't reflected in the final tally. And given that these houses generally sell for $50,000 or more, seeing the teams pretending to battle over an auction price of $1,000 seems more than ludicrous.

Despite all of that, I can't stop watching "Texas Flip N Move." I know it's not accurate, I realize the final profit numbers can't be trusted. To be honest, this is a show where I'm not convinced that anything I see on the screen is honestly portrayed. But I'm fascinated with the way the teams confront the challenges faced with anyone trying to rework an old farm building into a modern house. Or in one case, a rusted-out farm silo into a cleverly-partitioned first home. It also helps that the current group of teams are likable and skilled, even though they sometimes deliver a quip with all the subtly of a drunken carpenter. 

I don't go out of my way to watch "Texas Flip N Move" live. New episodes premiere on Friday nights and even if I'm watching television then, home improvement shows aren't on my playlist. But my DVR faithfully records each new episode and at some point every couple of weeks I find myself looking for pleasant brain candy and I decide to get caught up on the show.

Arguing that a show is great because it doesn't challenge your brain is a strange argument for a television critic to make. But every diet needs some cotton candy and that perfectly describes my attraction to "Texas Flip N Move." The show isn't good for you in the traditional sense. It's the television equivalent of a warm hotel swimming pool. Sometimes, you just want to lay there and let it all just wash across you.