Review: 'Blade Squad'

By any way of measurement, the late Brandon Tartikoff was a programming genius. When he was running NBC he built the foundation that the network continues to milk today. From "Miami Vice" to "Cheers," Tartikoff was in the thick of things, prodding and persuading everyone to do it just a little better.

But this was also the guy who believed in ideas like "Manimal," and "The Pink Lady And Jeff Show." Despite his talents, he made mistakes...and usually when he did, they were big ones.

After leaving NBC, Tartikoff went to Paramount and then out his own. And one of the projects left unfinished when he died last year was "Blade Squad," a made-for-tv movie/backdoor pilot that his wife Lily decided to finish for him.

Unfortunately, this turned out to be less a tribute to his talents than a reminder of his missteps. "Blade Squad" is clumsy, poorly-written, and it has all of the subtly of Steven Segal movie.

The movie takes place in the near future, apparently a time so forlorn that they no longer have logical plots. The traffic is bad and crime is worse, so a police commander comes up with the idea for "Blade Squad," a team of crime-fighting online skaters. And since this is the future, why not equip them with rocket-powered backpacks and futuristic radar?

The plot doesn't matter, or at least, I can't remember much of it. Every time I was tempted to start paying attention, some hunk of dialogue spewed out that was so bad it must have induced temporary amnesia.

This program has it all--the doubting commander who wants to shut the squad down; the hotshot squad member who ends up injured; the wandering girlfriend who manages to end up sleeping with the man who caused her cop boyfriend's accident.

This is clumsy, inept television...even for something airing on Fox in August. It's not the worst thing on television this week, but it's certainly the most frustrating.

And that sound you hear is the body of Brandon Tartikoff spinning in his grave like a turbine.