5 Things To Watch On Netflix This Weekend: The Polar Vortex Edition

Each Friday, we offer up five selections drawn for the bowels of Netflix. They're all picked to match a general theme, and while I can't promise the choices are all top quality, they will all be difficult to forget.

This weeks theme is the polar vortex and if you've been suffering through a tough, cold winter, then you can at least watch these films feeling somewhat better about your fate.

100 Below Zero (2013)
Next to Richard Moll, Jeff Fahey and John Rhys-Davies have been in more bad C-level science fiction movies than anyone else in Hollywood. In this film, a series of volcanic eruptions rip through Europe and the subsequent ash cloud blocks out the sun. "As the continent plunges into a new ice age, an American couple must find their college-aged kids and get them out of Paris before it freezes over." Because of course, just the story of an impending worldwide collapse isn't enough to hold the audiences attention. Also, college kids are easier to CGI on the cheap than a wall of oncoming ice. And if you drink a shot every time a character said "So what you're saying...," you'll be drunk a half hour into the film.

Absolute Zero (2005)
Hey, look! It's Jeff Fahey again. And this time he's co-starring with the female Richard Moll, Erika Eleniak. Fahey and Eleniak play climatologist David Koch and his ex-girlfriend Bryn, who  must fight to survive a catastrophic climate change when the Earth's temperature plunges to -400 degrees Fahrenheit, turning tropical Miami into the Arctic. "With all escape routes blocked, David, Bryn and a few others seal themselves into a special chamber in hopes of surviving the deep freeze." I love the tag from the film's poster: "Miami has never been so cold."

2012: Ice Age (2011)
In what seems to be a theme for this type of movie, a "volcano erupts in Iceland and inadvertently triggers another ice age." Of course, it's not clear what would happen if a volcano in Iceland erupted just as planned, but perhaps I'm spending way too much time analyzing the plot of a film that looks as if it was produced for $72 by a bunch of slightly-educated chimps.

Subzero (2005)
While I don't know the identity of Costas Mandylor's agent, I'm guessing it's not the same person who helped him get that role on "Picket Fences." This movie is terrible in a way that will have you laughing out loud as you watch actors pretending to climb ice faces that look to actually be only slightly raised at an angle and then adjusted in the editing room to look more dangerous. So what is the film about? Here's the official description, not that you'll be any more informed after reading it: "When a terrorist plane is shot down in the mountains, the race is on to recover a stolen device that can control satellite weapons. A group of fearless climbers and military personnel set out on the mission, but is one of them working for the enemy?" As a bonus for the laughter-inclined, Nia Peeples also has a role in the movie.

The Grey (2012)
After the first four selections, you deserve a well-made and entertaining movie to wrap up your polar film binge. Liam Neeson and Dermot Mulroney headline this story After narrowly surviving a deadly plane crash in the Alaskan wilderness,  about a band of oil riggers who must fend for their lives in the ice and snow after narrowly surviving a deadly plane crash in the Alaskan wilderness. And did I mention there are hungry wolves?