7 Things I Learned From Watching Hallmark Christmas Movies

No matter your political persuasion, I think most of us would agree that it's been a pretty distasteful past few months. So many people are angry, so many beloved public figures have let us down. A lot of important things are happening, but at some point you just long for some downtime and the chance to cleanse your mind with some uplifting and warm-hearted television.

And for years, the made-for-Hallmark Channel Christmas movies have been the perfect way to remind yourself that the entire world isn't filled with evil creeps. This time of year the Hallmark Channel (and its sister network Hallmark Movies & Mysteries) are crammed with back-to-back Christmas movies and it can be a wonderful thing. Every movie has romance, an optimism and holiday spirit that can make even the worst day somehow seem a little less grim.

But Hallmark's decision to pull four same-sex wedding commercials from the network has been a reminder that Hallmark's vision of the holidays can be very.....specific.

How specific? Well, this is everything I have learned about Christmas from watching Hallmark Channel Christmas movies:

1) Romance can happen when you least expect it.

2) A surprising number of people still own struggling lots that sell Christmas Trees.

3) Your first hometown love is never married, even if you've been gone for twenty years.

4) There are a lot of small towns filled with nothing but white folks and a couple of quirky African-American shopkeepers.

5) Jews have apparently never been exposed to any Christmas traditions.

6) Being a successful big city trial lawyer is important, but what really matters is knowing how to make homemade hot chocolate.

7) Yes, Angels are real. And they all want you to find a date for Saturday night.